Observations
- Night life is weird – It’s like let’s each of us bring our unique groups of friends, pack them into a small space, reduce our judgment and inhibitions with depressants, and see what happens.
- Why do girls always say they look gross? They’re like I’m so gross and sweaty right now, feel my boob sweat, feel my underboobs.
- Clothing shopping is like music, likes/dislikes is about repetition of what you’ve seen or heard. Your brain finds patterns.
- Funny how during sports games people act like they’re getting up and leaving but don’t actually leave, when something they don’t like happens (bad referee call or bad play).
- When people say “we need to talk”, aren’t we talking now? They just mean “I need to corner you later”. They really should be asking “can I corner you later?” instead of “can we get together and talk?”
- What is a good measure of how much of an adult you are? How often you hit the snooze button?
- Shouldn’t kid adoptions be called rescues and dog rescues be called adoptions? It’s much harder to adopt a child than “rescue” a dog
- Do you tell the receptionist what’s wrong with you at the doctor’s office?
- Is it okay to talk in an elevator?
- Awkward social situations – Is the double goodbye the worst (saying goodbye twice, either for no reason or because you had to make a trip back to their house because you forgot something)? Or is the big goodbye worse (ignoring someone all night and then making a big deal of saying goodbye to them and that you wish you talked more to them)?
- Do you have “it”?
- I wonder when I get old if I’ll have something to tell the kids that was different. You know when I was your age, dogs couldn’t vote.
- Funny that people say when they’re young “when I’m old I’ll do heroine because I’ll have nothing to lose”. However, old people – bruise from wrist to shoulder. How’d it happen? The wind. When you get older you get more scared.
- Can you smell rain?
Crazy Questions
- How often do you pee in the shower?
- What do you think about in the shower?
- What sport is most like intercourse?
Tests
- Why don’t polar bears eat penguins? A: Penguins are in the South Pole, Polar Bears in the North Pole
- Goldman Sachs Interview Question – If there is a car on each corner of a triangle, and each car can move to the next corner, what is the probability they do not crash? A: 2/8 (25%). Reason: 8 possibilities (2 directions for 3 corners = 2x2x2 = 8), 2 options for not crashing (either all move clockwise or all move counterclockwise)
- Toilet paper over or under? A: Always over.
- Scenario: Picture yourself with your significant other making a road trip and stop at a gas station. You walk inside alone and buy a soda for yourself. When coming back to the car, your significant other says, “Thank you for thinking of me!” and accepts the soda. Do you think it’s deceptive if you don’t correct them that you originally got it for yourself?
- Do you think someone who has never gotten divorced or someone who has gone through a few divorces should be life coaches? Which one would be better?
- What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? A: Firetruck.
Situationals
- Do you think a water slide is like coming out of the womb for a second time?
- If you could go back in time, what is one event you would want to experience? Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?
- Are there any breakfast dishes you wouldn’t eat for other meals?
- Desired fancy dates to lazy dates ratio?
- Good sign of a match – opposite taste in pickles?
- If they are a doctor – Is laughter really the best medicine?
Facts
- Otters have under-forearms pockets of which they keep their favorite rock in (typically the left pocket)